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brighter than sunshine

Posted by poeticnook on 9/27/2006 06:49:00 AM in ,
"in order to be happy now, I should own myself up to the possibility that I might one day be sad. I should accept the reality that there might not be anyone for me, at least I could get on with the rest of my life without having to think about that *missing* part."

- the real cancun

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wordplay

Posted by poeticnook on 9/07/2006 02:31:00 AM in ,
There is always something to chronicle when there's absolutely nothing going on in your life. You can ramble on about the mundanity of everyday existence, the lack of things to do, places to go, or people to talk to. The void of not being in a relationship or the nuance in belonging to one, the absence of time or money or energy to accomplish something - these are but a few of the subjects one can use as an excuse to fill up space with more nonsense, as if the world listens or notices. But it doesn't matter, it's just a release. Writing something down behind the anonymity of blogs fills this need of expressing yourself and being heard. It deceives you into believing that someone somewhere actually cares.

I've read and seen a lot of ways on how to cope up with building frustration, Paulo Coelho suggests that you write it down on paper then let it be swept away by the waves of the River Piedra. I can just imagine the tons of trash filling that site if all people follow his advice. Nicholas Sparks offers that throwing a letter inside an empty wine bottle to the vast ocean would do the trick, this could be a romantic way of finding true love and yet that's sacrilege to the marine ecosystem. Wong Kar Wai proposes finding a tree with a big hole and shouting all your secrets in there. This sounds like a plan, very environment friendly and all it entails is a map of the hundred acre wood and a pair of trusty hiking boots. But being the lazy lump of lard that I am, I prefer Lilo's way of screaming everything on a pillow. All my huggable fluffy headrest are now certified deaf from this activity. My throat also aches and all I can do is drink hot tea and whisper to make it more bearable. Why do we punish ourselves like this? Are we addicted to pain?
On and on
She just keeps on trying
And she smiles when she feels like crying
On and on,
- On and On, Stephen Bishop -

Back to reality, I have job interviews left and right, something to stimulate the logic in me. thank God!

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the future is bleak

Posted by poeticnook on 9/04/2006 07:21:00 AM in
Two years ago I got a heart torn in two, with the intent of giving the other half to someone who wanted to share it with me. I wore it for a month or so till my skin erupted and my body rejected the idea of ever parting with half of my treasure. Last Saturday while Yuck and I were moving things and cleaning up the new flat, I found my rusty heart and decided to use it again. I drowned it in a strong chemical that wiped away all the blackness, it now looks good as new, but it's still broken, after all, that's how it always was to begin with.

Tonight, the rain is pouring hard and I'm looking forward to walking home drenched and soaked in heaven's tears. Why can't time just stop for a while and take me back to that happy place? The windows at my new room doesn't have a view of the sky, I can't seem to hear the laughter of the stars from where I stand, are they still there?

Maybe I should take the Osaka route soon to get away from all this sadness..

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