part 3 Earth

the earth lay still, quiet and waiting
at the tiny drops of blood that flowed

while the wind revolved, unmindful and listening
the hand clasped the thorns with scars that glowed

heaven opened its eyes and looked on
as the palm held on with its last breath

withered, the petals serenaded the coming dawn
knowing too much love and pain brings death.


part 4 Me

i lay for a while dreaming flowers dreams
of thorns and blood that kiss the ground

but i am indoors and nothing is at it seems
so i let the fleeting memories be drowned

if rhyme and reason would wage a war, i thought
i'll be none the wiser standing in the rain

and if love is suicide, as the sages taught
then i may have lived my life in vain

06.24.2003.2.46.p.m.

even angels grow tired,
as they go about their merry ways
picking up your broken pieces
trying to make them whole once more

even angels weep,
sometimes they hide behind the clouds
and let the wonderful gloomy rain
wash away their sadness

even angels lose their wings,
they grow weary of waiting for you
to see beyond yourself past the chains
you invent to hide you from what's true

and yes, even angels have dreams..
they dream of someday finding you
waiting by the door, willing to let them in
free to let them love you..

.
.
.

sometimes, i get tired too...

06.23.2003.7.46.p.m.

saturday was a drunken soul splitting moment. it was one of those times when you can close your eyes, and hear your heart beating loudly against you chest, and if you breathe real hard, you can feel the stars...

funny how tequila suddenly becomes a hard to find commodity on nights like this =) we had to go to 3 stores and take 2 cab rides just to get a 500ml cuervo, talk about being in demand =)

guitar music and break up songs filled the house while the shot glasses were kept full, guile asked "mahal ka ba nyang talaga?" while matet said: "deep within i'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you,i know i can't be with you, i do what i have to do"

after much hurling, the show ended, another day was over, four wandering souls looked up to count the artificial stars in my room and fell into the arms of dreamless sleep..

and this is how we make ourselves invincible from pain...

one last time, hold me
as we watch this crumbling city
fall and become dust beneath our feet
shall we stay? shall we go away?
shall we be the only ones left
standing in this confusion?

we are an epic struggle
six years in the making
we've gone past the road signs
onto the wide open fields
where rocks crunch beneath our wheels.
and still we are none the wiser
still lost in between these city streets

and i find myself one more time
calling out to you
but you are nowhere beside me

we are dying embers of a forgotten vision
that once lighted the path of our dreams
we shall go on, as all those who prevail do
but this time on separate roads
the future boundless and magical
as we make more hellos and less goodbyes

tonight, i shall look back one last time
and i shall forget
the feel of your hand
entwined with mine.

06.19.2003.10.05.a.m.

night shall fall soon
to take you to sleep
bringing you dreams
and whispered promises
cloaked beneath the thin
film of your eyelids

i watch as you lay
so serene, your heart
surrendering to the soft
humming of a light breeze
touching you face
drenched in moonbeams

i love sitting here
beside you as you breathe
for by some lucky chance
you might stretch you arms
and reach for me, and
hold me close to you

tomorrow you'll leave me
all to soon, without even
a last look, a wave goodbye
i shall lie, a forsaken pillow
waiting for night time
to bring you back to me


6.17.2003.7.51.a.m.

i could grow roots too
hang my wings up to dry
and perch my nest on your ground

i could grow roots too
and count the silent petals that fall from
my branches to kiss the soil of your yard

i could grow roots too
say goodbye to the voices of the wind and
the waves beckoning just to follow you

i could grow roots too, you know
i could grow roots with you
i could grow old with you


17.June.2003.12.53.a.m

my friends are moving on with their lives,two of them have resigned from this company and found other jobs that fit them better, last thursday was a rather sad day for me, i couldn't help but feel down amidst all the farewells, i wanted to throw caution to the wind, buy the first ticket to somewhere and wander off into anonymity, but the comfort zones kept nagging me and urging me to stay and watch the charade go by, i was silent for the rest of the duration of my ride home and only after i closed the door to my room did i let the tears flow freely.

friday was a rainy day, i love the rain, i love looking up to the sky and letting the tiny drops of rain touch my face, its like the sky opened its arms and gave me a glimpse of heaven.

yesterday, i sat outside the house and watched as rain collected on the rain gutters while drinking mule and contemplating on the complexities of being a caterpillar perched on a leaf while trapped in a thunderstorm. i also twisted all meaning from the phrase "it's better to be alone for the right reasons than to be with someone for the wrong ones" until i've drained all desire from it and i was back to being alone on a rainy sunday afternoon.

everything spins around in circles.