i finished reading this book in one wekend, in between naps and bites of peanut broas. i had to finish it, not just because i was borrowing it from a friend and that friend wanted it back asap, and the fact that i had nothing better to do, but also because it was a hard to put down book. ever since the last coelho book i read: *veronika decides to die*, i think paulo has been wanting to tackle sex on his own terms.

my friend di liked this book very much and found so many wonderful insights from it. zet and ri also recommended that i finish reading this book and give my comment on it.. i dont know if its the too much hype or the overzealous encouragement of my friends, but this story actually disappointed me.. maybe ive read too much coelho..

i liked *by the river piedra* better..


title: eleven minutes
author: paulo coelho

this puddle of rain at my feet never dries
as my poetry waits for the day to get louder
while the cold sheet feels my wrinkled lies
i carry these brown patches inside my head

as my poetry waits for the day to get louder
these glowing stars choose to take your side
i carry these brown patches inside my head
letting the broken frame of skies turn pink

these glowing stars choose to take your side
when you painted your room with blinding twilight
letting the broken frame of skies turn pink
like the fast and tragic movement of the clocks

when you painted your room with blinding twilight
i drove away with the sleepy morning sparrow
like the fast and tragic movement of the clocks
where dreams lie in dusty guitar case latches

i drove away with the sleepy morning sparrow
looking for youth walking up and down old streets
where dreams lie in dusty guitar case latches
and empty shapes of crowded lives we've lived

looking for youth walking up and down old streets
i found scattered faithless angels instead
and empty shapes of crowded lives we've lived
locked in a jar of love and other gray things

i found scattered faithless angels instead,
while the cold sheet feels my wrinkled lies
locked in a jar of love and other gray things
this puddle of rain at my feet never dries

11.04.2004.4.28.p.m.

we used to play this waltz
but only in the shadows
where you can hide me away
from the the dusk and the ghost
that only comes before sunrise

in that dance of sad songs
we held hands on borrowed time
but never too tightly
lest i forget that you're not mine
but someone else's lost rhyme

i have been wishing for stars
to carve our shapes into the soil
but the earth always sinks away
as the sunset steps on our hearts
still lost in uncharted skies

tonight i stumbled once more
into the soft colors of sadness
because i need to fold my arms
and let you go, one last time
while the moon eclipses our paper hats

11.02.2004.02.16.p.m.

in the darkness
my dreams are liquid fire
setting to flames all that dare cross my path

in the darkness
my loneliness and i are one
letting the tears fall freely from my eyes

in the darkness
i remain
eternally waiting

for sunrise.

10.19.2004.2.07.p.m.

late nights always find me looking for stars while lying on one of the hammocks beside the swimming pool at the upper penthouse. but star gazing isnt really a good hobby in this city, the sky is always covered with fog or smog or both and the only lights that i can see when i look up are airplane tail lights.

one good thing about living on the top floor of a tall building is having a good view of the city. the cars and the people on the street look like ants (that phrase reminded me of a csi episode where a manic killer termed his victims as ants waiting to be crushed, weird!)

tonight will be no different.. i will be watching people get lost in the shadows and go back to the places they call home.

i dont know what force compelled me to visit my old space at diaryland. i wasnt even thinking, my fingers just deviated from the class diagrams at rational rose to my crazy browser.. and there it was.. the past i was running away from,

reading my entries there somehow felt like looking into the life of another person so unlike me. nobody would ever know the people i was hiding behind those words. the brief love, the more brief life, i wish i could bring them all back. but the wish is not as strong as before, and the sharp stinging that used to hurt so much and bring tears to my eyes is now nothing more but a dull hollow feeling.

i dont want to be hollow any longer, i have been empty for too long. i need to be filled to the brim and overflow with emotions other than hate and bitterness. i need to love. i need to die.

"i am hollow and i will live forever" - van helsing

fade into my skin like a lullaby
break a piece of my loneliness and take my hand
you sing like one too tired to ache
you ache like one too tired to mind

and i said simmer
to the drone of my guitar
tonight the stars and all the planets will just watch by
come along, melt me with your promises

we both know we'll regret this all tomorrow
but i dont mind coz it's easier to forget
when i know there's no tomorrow waiting
for us

but tonight ill sing some songs
fumbling upon each button
watching you watching me
too tired to mind, too lost to care

yes, let me play one more tune
you and i and a couple of shots
the sky won't mind if we stayed too long
melting in each others arms

10.11.2001.09.31.p.m.