it's labor day back in my country, and so they don't have work today, meanwhile it's golden week here in japan, everybody is taking a vacation and regular work starts on may 7, but that exempts us code warriors.. we're stuck here in the office trying to beat the deadline for the software we need to deliver by may 18. it's nice to be knee deep in work when there's so much stuff that goes on in my life. it takes my mind off what's real.. or so i think

i don't really believe in these things, but this horoscope seemed very apt for me today =)

"Usually, dear Scorpio, you have a pretty high level of focus and concentration. However, today you might find that your concentration is lagging. You might find working difficult, and you could even find yourself dwelling on old disappointments from way back in your past. You might want to stop and try to figure out why these memories are coming up. Releasing them might get your concentration back to normal."

here i am again, trying to keep an online journal of sorts.. not for theraphy this time (i hope) just continuing the tradition i guess..

my groupmates and i went to odaiba last sunday, it was a nice place.. we visited aqua city, the sony electronics showroom, the coca cola shop, the biggest ferris wheel in the world, the replica of the statue of liberty, the rainbow bridge.. and we even rode on this unmanned monorail train..

lots and lots of pictures really, and so many things to say, but i can't describe them all right now.. my memories are bottled up inside of me, and i can't find the right words to make them immortal in these pages.. which is just as well i guess..

i'll think of something more worthy to post next time.. for now, this will have to do.

dear you,

at last, i've used up too much words until i've drained all meaning from them =) now i can leave my solutions at home, and we'd be ourselves...

i have to admit, the past has been dystopic.. and it did leave me broken in many places.. but the past is done, and though things have been taken away from me, other things grew back to take their place. something is always missing, but then it only makes things more real.

i just wish you the best in whatever other tasks you wish to take on.. i hope you find good people who will take care of you and who will be good to you, and i hope the people you are with right now really love you enough to care =), finally, i wish for you to be happy, no matter how overrated that concept might seem to you.. ^_^

someday, our roads will stop meeting and will start spinning around other journeys., when that time comes, i hope you will know in your heart that somewhere, however far away from you i may end up in, i'm still cheering for you and remembering you in all the little things..

for now, i'm just a handsbreath away =), and i'll be here for you as long as i possibly can.. or perhaps even longer than that..

take care and keep in touch...

always,
me

i have this recurring dream where i am not really me, just another entity trapped in another person's life. sometimes i step outside to break away from the shell that encloses me, but the freedom is temporary, and sonner rather than later, i am propelled back into this stranger's life.



this life isn't really so bad, but sometimes it just drives me crazy,

morning
knocks on my door
only to find me lost
in my slumber, dreaming my dreams
of you

Fri, 29 Nov 2002 17:14:10

lights underwater
casting moonbeams on our skins
reflect back sorrows
troubles we've cast to the wind
leave me i beg, let me die
leave me to be, let me cry

11-29-2002:16:22

2 am, the moon shines bright and i
scan the heavens for the
tiny gossamers of golden thread
shedding off their bright gazes

and you, infinitely beautiful,
infinitely far, and unreachable
blinded my skies with a
million spears of light

leaving me so soon, waiting
for three decades more
to come again

11.19.2002