I woke up and saw people wearing white hovering around me. If this was heaven, they must have made a mistake :) I blinked once, twice, trying to adjust to the lights, everything was blurry, my mind, my vision, the voices behind me felt like they were from somewhere far away. 

They asked for my name, the date, my phone number, my parents, and all I could see were dark red stains while I felt my head throbbing like crazy.

I could put all the pieces of that day except for that moment right before I lost consciousness. It's like a missing part of my life that I have no recollection of, just a big black hole in between living and dying.

In the afternoon, I was trying to finish some work but our seniors decided they should treat us out for dinner and drinks as part of our welcome party since we just joined the team. I was feeling a little faint because I was anemic and it was that time of the month but I didn't want to be the odd person out so I joined them.

The night was a blur of music and old friends called Cuervo, Stolichnaya, Southern Comfort and a few other exotic mixes. As usual, the effect is like caffeine for me, it makes my senses more acute, my memory sharper, everything is clearer and abstract things make sense. So when they dropped me off at my boarding house at around 11pm, I couldn't sleep, algorithms were dancing in my head and I all I wanted to do was go to a computer shop and type everything down.

And that's what I did, I worked till around 1 am then I was craving for some food so I walked to a nearby burger joint to order some sliders. I took out my money to pay, then there were stars, and everything was black.

From what the nurses told me, some hospital interns went out for midnight snacks and as they were walking back to the emergency room, they saw me passed out, lying on a ditch, my head bleeding. They took me to the ER and tried to revive me, almost flatlined but I came back.

After a series of tests, stitches and MRI, they finally released me on a wheelchair.

And that kids is why you shouldn't go out walking alone late at night :)

i walk past unpainted houses
back to where we used to sit
the tree blooms as stately as before
the grass, though, thinner, than
the last time we sat on it

newspapers strewn all over my room
im painting sunsets on midnights
as lonesome as this

and why, i asked myself why
do i write about those sunsets that i never see..
then i ask myself, oh, how
we have come so far, so far
from all that we could ever be

picking up shadows and colors
im capturing fragments of moments
but the moonlight mocks me

retracing my steps, i try to see
past the moonlight, the sunset,
the shadows, the madness
but im blind and im mad, and i feel
that im broken, broken, broken

dreaming of sunsets that i never see.

first light awaking
promising a new dawn,
a new beginning
while some stars shed off
their bright gazes,,,
the moon yawns in deep resign..
the skies tremble with my
heart's longing
dusk has come and gone ...
the sun is dawning
thorns wither with the new light
now i know why i live
i live to cry,
i live to die
i live to love...
and cry again...