today is the end of many things - the naboplomo challenge for one, that means i won't be obligated to post on this blog anymore, i will go back to the shadows and visit like a ghost once in a while - when i'm homeless and i can't grow roots. it's also our company's last day of operation, they closed shop and sold their stocks so we're now under a new entity. a good friend at work also had her last day today, she's leaving for home tomorrow. watching people leave makes me sad, i wish i could go home too. it's always easier to leave than to be left behind..

tomorrow weather forecast is 12 centimeters of snow, they're planning to go to grouse mountain for snowboarding, i'm still thinking if i should come.. don't want another cold weekend, i miss the beach.

when a door closes, it only means that something better is coming along soon, the purpose of it all may not be clear right now, but soon enough, when the dust settles, we'll realize that all will turn out for the best. good things happen to good people, somehow.

• gadget lust: saw something i want on my christmas stocking, hehe now if i could only get santa's direct line.
• tons of work today, what else is new? don't know how to make the gears turn, in an effort to forget one thing, i ended up forgetting everything else.
• saw the dc - ny pics, argghhh! finally realized how fat i've become, like 10 pounds heavier than the week before at lv. how can that be? must be the chilly weather making my cheek puff, haha! nah, i need a diet and exercise plan, i'll start tomorrow =p.
• tonight i'm helping my younger brother with his homework - psychology and brain lateralization. i miss university, everything was easier back then, should have failed a couple of classes so i'd still be in school today harhar.
• my mom is also on the chat window, recounting the latest military standoff in manila, another political turmoil brewing, and here i am, miles away, waiting for the world to change.
• company's last day of operation, just signed my quitclaim, now i'm broke coz they haven't released the final check yet. should have been a writer instead, if i was going to starve anyway, at least i'm doing what i'm passionate about =p.

the problem with working from home is there's no closing time, noone to remind you to go home - coz you're already home, noone to pass by your desk at lunch time to invite you to the cafeteria, and noone to drag you to the starbucks across the street for coffee break. so you go on and on until you realize everybody else is offline and you're the only one left finding your way through the mess of buggy third party deliveries. the good part about this though is that you get to stay warm all day, no trudging along slippery sidewalks, no covering yourself up from the freezing rain and snowfall.

every day, we flip a coin and choose a road, each choice we make carries both good and bad things. it's always a struggle to find the happy amidst the greyness of a holocaust aftermath, but hope floats despite the darkness, dusk reminds us of a sunset that ends all worries, and a dawn that brings with it a clean slate to help us write a new story..

we all do what we can, and it has to be good enough, and if it isn't good enough, then it has to do..

three weeks ago i ordered 2 spare laptop batteries at globalbatteries, yet up to know, it's still lost in transit. sales support emailed me and said they sent it through usps and it might take 8 weeks, depending on how slow regular snail mail is. too bad, i was expecting to get it sooner so i could use it on my c1x, guess i'll have to wait a bit more, didn't know it took this long to buy things online.

yesterday i got a notice from canada post - a parcel for pickup at their collingwood branch, what a hassle, why did they invent mail delivery if i have to get it personally from their office? i also have to pay $25 before i can claim it. =( another ups package also arrived and needs brokerage fee before they can release it - the cost of which is half the price of the package, arrgghhh!

one thing made my day though, got a gift which is probably from the vpal global kriss kringle, can't wait to open it ^_^ plus i received my wpe from cic. hmmm, one more year,

don't you sometimes wish you could disappear even if for just a day? throw away that mobile phone, not check emails, stay at home or go somewhere where noone knows you and noone's looking for you.. wish i could do that everyday. don't know if it's the gray or the cold or the snow that's been bringing me down, maybe it's all of them combined.

today i did just that - got swallowed into oblivion, stopped worrying, and just went away without warning, tomorrow i'll be back into the fast and blinding world once more, one deep breath at a time, hello neo. time to bring out my winter jacket and snow boots..

on other news, i found a good deal on an itrip at overstock and ordered one. too bad it doesnt ship to bc.

used to be called the empty state building during the great depression, they hired people to go up and down the elevators to switch the lights just so it would look like it's occupied - that's one trivia i learned from the tour guide, don't know if it's true. this historic place was under construction when went in to take a few snapshots of the city from above. it was also unlike the john hancock, or cn tower, or even the space needle where the elevator person at least says something about the place - here we were just whisked into an elevator and went from one metal detector to the next. from the 80th floor, we went up to the observatory by stairs, just for the heck of it, twas 6 flights up and no turning back.


last night we witnessed how big a deal christmas is in nyc, carollers everywhere, buildings all lit up, shop windows filled with holiday decoration - the cynic would say it's commercialism, but i think it makes the city more alive and vibrant, helps to distract yourself from the monotony of daily existence. i love to be in this place, bc looks so dull and gray now in comparison.


walked towards ground zero and saw the vast emptiness that used to be something. they're rebuilding it into a central transportation hub. amazing grace played in the background as i read their sign - think back, move forward, afterwhich we proceeded to st. patrick's cathedral.

as we packed our bags and head to jfk to catch our plane, i already have a list of what to do on my next visit: - meet up with friends, helicopter tour, walk along central park.

got on the hop on hop off tour of nyc, much like the chicago tour i took. walked along 5th avenue to times square, shopped till i burned a hole in my pocket. the day was too cold for sight seeing, and the tickets got sold out at the battery park. tomorrow we'll visit the empire state and lady liberty, and of course, do more shopping. i'll be back in the summer and check out central park and see niagara falls from this side of the world.

i have a penchant for bridges, took some nice still shots of the brooklyn bridge from the south seaport, can't wait to see the golden gate and add it to my photo collection. my fave is mandaue - mactan for sentimental reasons, and akashi kaikyo, the longest suspension bridge, located in kobe.

toured washington dc - smithsonian institute, museum of air and space, potomac river, lincoln memorial, capitol, reagan airport, and the white house. had lunch at chinatown and caught the amtrak train to newark. checked in at the hilton and called it a day, tomorrow - new york city.

"i wanna be a part of it.."

arrived at bwi at around 9am, good thing the connecting flight waited for the rest of us who got stranded. the passengers were giving us mean looks when we finally boarded, especially since the flight crew announced that "finally the passengers we are waiting for has arrived" hehe, makes me wonder what happened to the ground personnel that comitted the mistake.

mavic's relatives were waiting for us at the terminal, we drove straight to their place and had brunch. slept for most part of the day, recharging my batteries, we're scheduled to do shopping tomorrow at dawn - my first black friday shopping. hmmm what to buy?

seatac: flight to detroit got moved out. we were at the middle of the runway when they asked the pilot to go back to the gates. apparently the ground crew loaded the wrong luggage to the cargo bay; we had to go back so they could sort it out. it took a good one hour until everything was fine. we also had to do another refueling since we lost gas while waiting for take off at the runway.

this is the first time my flight retreated from take off; how very opportune when the connecting flight - detroit to baltimore - is just an hour and a half away. it's God's way of saying: sit back, relax, not everything is in your control. sometimes you just have to let go and let God, everyhing will be alright.

been living from my suitcase for the last 11 months, shuffling my clothes in between spaces which i never would have any chance of visiting had i been safely tucked back home. tonight is another one of those nights when i have to choose what to bring and what to leave behind. i should have a checklist by now, lessons from previous travels that might help me this time. but each destination is new and strange and beautiful in its own way, and no matter how much you prepare for it, you always end up forgetting something or wishing you didn't carry so much. so the best way to deal with this really is not to take it too seriously, we all make mistakes, as long as you're alive, it's never too late to make things right.

as i empty my luggage of things from my last trip and fill it with more stuff for the nth time, i'm wishing the turbulence won't be as bad, the waiting not too long, the questions not so hard, and the answers easier to find.

wish me luck.

blue october's single has infected my system. it's on eternal repeat on my ipod. that's usually what happens when i find a song i really like, i play it over and over again until i don't want to hear it anymore. i use up its replay value and shelf it away for good.

this looks like how i treat mostly everything else i have, at the beginning i get obsessive and tinker with each nut and bolt until i've discovered all flaws and marveled at the ingenuity of its details; then after a while, i lose interest, i put it back in its box, give it away or sell it off. it's a vicious cycle, i can't grow roots, get attached, spin in place. i blame the rest of my generation for my restless soul. but mostly i think it's a defense mechanism, i'd rather leave than be left behind. it's better to be the first to stand up and go than wait till the dust settles and find yourself alone.

this song is really getting to me, i feel like drowning.

now floating up and down
i spin, colliding into sound
like whales beneath me diving down
i'm sinking to the bottom of my
everything that freaks me out
the lighthouse beam has just run out
i'm cold as cold as cold can be
be

i want to swim away but don't know how
sometimes it feels just like i'm falling in the ocean
let the waves up take me down
let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
let the rain of what i feel right now...come down
let the rain come down

sunday is for shopping. we went to the fashion show mall and visited our favorite tech destination - apple store. of course, can't go there without buying gadgets or acessories, it's a miracle though that i didn't end up buying anything. still sticking to my last tech item purchase of the year. vin brought a macbook, i'm dying of envy.

went to ceasar's palace and had another photo op beside the replicas of european statues. had lunch at cheesecake factory - their beef ribs serving is huge, and godiva cheesecake is to die for. strolled by the forum shops where ferragamo is just beside coach and fendi - a shopaholic's heaven, mavic momentarily forgot her woes when she saw the designer labels lined up before her =)

by 3pm, we were on the way back to the airport, another weekend over and done with. time flies so fast, 2 days is not enough for this place. on the plane, we entertained ourselves by playing pai gao, still can't get enough of that game, it's so addictive.

i wish my wish on the falling star would come true, but then i saw how hopeless it all seems now, so i just closed my eyes and blinked back a teardrop. i know i could have asked, but i can't handle the truth, so the moment just passed in silence. don't know which is worse - leaving 24C of soulless nevada sun or coming home to 5C of heartless vancouver clouds - maybe both, compounded with the feeling of being left behind. wish i could go home soon. i need a hug.

started the day early to visit hoover dam and the grand canyon. passed by the big clocks that showed nevada and arizona time, also saw lake mead and the site of that last transformers movie. a new bridge is being constructed in that part of town, from the looks of it, its not for the people with fear of heights. we had a brief stopover at route 66 and had lunch at popeyes.

on the way back from arizona, a magnificent sunset followed our trail until dusk settled and found me - a lonesome wanderer on the deserts of mojave. saw a falling star, wished with all my might...

by night time, part of the rat pack caught phantom of the opera at the venetian while the rest burned a hole in their pocket playing slots and pai gao poker at the mgm grand.

las vegas is a sight to behold at night, the lights left us awe stricken and mesmerized. it's a city where good looking people are a dozen a dime, and shows are on left and right. liquor is obscenely cheap and even 7-11 has slot machines installed. vin almost opted to stay behind ^_^.

yvr; waiting for the plane to board. got picked for secondary security check for the nth time. it must be my name. do i look like a terrorist? escaped rainy vancouver in search of the sun in nevada. hope i won't be disappointed.

the usual suspects on this trip, plus one new recruit. can't hardly wait.

just finished filling my light suitcase with clothes that i'll be bringing to fabulous las vegas. weather forecast is sunny all weekend, a positive sign for the grand canyon tour. good thing the stagehand strike in NY didn't reach LV or else the phantom tickets would go to waste.

passport, check. shades, check. vaio, check. moleskine, check. that's it, i'm ready to go. it's always easier to travel light. gives me more space for souvenirs on the way home =)

today my bond ends and i am free. that calls for a celebration, i will talk only of good things like getting that coveted qa sign off on a defect fix that has been on hold for the past four months, or the coming LV trip this weekend, i will skip the ugly parts and fast forward to the good times.

life is full of surprises, and "great opportunites brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems". it's lame to focus too much on the downside of things, "we are never given a problem without also being given the power to solve it". so for tonight, i will get drunk on motivational quotes and sleep tight without worries.

"nothing is ever lost, nothing that can't be found."

where: Silver City, Metropolis
when: Tuesday, 13 November 2007. 7:00 p.m.

is a propaganda movie against war and craftily intended for american audiences. watched this movie today and i got lost in all the political jargon. i guess this is a timely movie for remembrance day, watching idealistic young people march blindly as soldiers fighting for their country. but fighting for what? the reasons get lost in translation.

yesterday was remembrance day here. there were lots of activites lined up to commemorate the sacrifices of all those who went to war. i missed everything because i was out town. a friend told me a story about a poem that became popular after the first world war, this is usually recited during remembrance day / veterans day / poppy day / armstice day. whichever country you're in. poppies are those red flowers that grew in the graves of the casualties of war, this has become the symbol for this memorial.

i never really understood why people go to war in the first place..

in flanders fields the poppies blow
between the crosses, row on row,
that mark our place; and in the sky
the larks, still bravely singing, fly
scarce heard amid the guns below.

we are the Dead. Short days ago
we lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
loved, and were loved, and now we lie
in flanders fields.

take up our quarrel with the foe:
to you from failing hands we throw
the torch; be yours to hold it high.
if ye break faith with us who die
we shall not sleep, though poppies grow
in Flanders fields.

— John McCrae

was planning to catch up on my sleep today but went to seattle instead at the spur of the moment just to hitch a ride with friends who wanted to shop for gifts. we found a great sushi place just beside alderwood mall right after we had lunch at the food court, how ironic. hope i can go there next time, it has kaiten sushi - sushi that goes around a conveyor belt and you just pick whatever you like as they move towards you. i tried it back in fukuoka and each plate was about Y100 then, i also saw something like that in greenhills, forgot the name of the place, it had a giant octopus as a mascot. oh well, it's just the novelty of the kaiten that attracted me, but for nihon ryori cravings, there's always kingsway sushi across work and fish on rice a few blocks away to satisfy my palate.

activated two iphones bought by a friend while strolling along the outlet malls, failed to buy anything, not even a shirt, for myself. maybe that's why i felt a bit dejected when we were on the way home.

we almost called it a day after all the shopping they did, but the casino beside the premium outlets looked too inviting to pass up. we went in and tried our luck. i took out the last bills on my wallet which was $7 and played the slots. won a whopping $23, high stakes! haha. at least i got something out of this trip ^_^