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why do we settle?

Posted by poeticnook on 5/27/2005 10:15:00 AM in
my friend is settling down. no, she’s not getting married. she’s going back to the guy she dumped sometime ago. no, not because she realized she loved him after all but more because her prospective quasi-perfect could-have-been guy left her high and dry. she’s exhausted of all the bad dates that her friends and family line up for her. she’s tired of all the nagging "you still don’t have a boy friend?" questions. she’s weary and jaded and i believe a tiny drop of rain could actually shatter her to pieces. tough luck for her, the rainy month of june is right around the corner. i don’t really blame her, she just can’t go through another emotional investment into some unknown enterprise that promises to be the best thing that ever happened to you, only to wake up one day that it has closed shop and filed for bankruptcy. so, anyway, that’s why she’s going back to her ex. because at least she already knows his moods, his ins and outs. she won’t be nastily surprised anymore. she’s been acquainted with his good and bad sides already, and she knows how to deal with it, how to make it work.

my friend is settling down. somehow saying it over and over again still doesn’t sound right. i can’t believe that the same girl with unruffled feathers who i met way back then is finally accepting defeat. she has conceded that there are no more good guys out there. why do we settle? maybe it just comes with age. maybe we are walking time bombs or grocery items with expiry dates. we go out into the world with dignity and purpose and dreams of belonging to nice homes. but once our expiry dates loom over, we throw away all that we once lived for, or fought for, or believed in, and we just concentrate on that one thing — to be sold, to belong.. to anywhere, to anyone. it doesn’t matter what we were made for or what we think we deserve. we are commodities with deadlines. the only thing that matters now is that we don’t get left out in the shelf alone, unsold, unloved.

why do we settle? because being alone is much more frightening than being with someone whom we don’t truly love. because we believe that love like any other language can be learned over time, with enough patience and perseverance. the rest can be endured. everything else except loneliness and the frightful weariness of solitude.

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a quote like this is only good as forwarded sms, it is rarely applied in real life:

"it’s better to be alone for the right reasons than to be with someone for the wrong ones"

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