old letters

i sent an email to my college professor yesterday, telling her how ive been since i left cebu. she was here two days ago for a quick visit and she had lunch with her brother arjay, my current boardmate. too bad i wasnt able to see her then.

anyway, her reply to my email sort of triggered some distant memories in my brain, its like uncovering some boxes from under my bed. i am almost remembering college all over again.. i think she's right, im just making myself too pressured with things that shouldnt really be my responsibility, i shouldnt think too much. i recall what mary jane watson said to peter parker in spiderman 2 "dont you think its time you let somebody save you?"

here's an old letter i sent to miss when she left our college and pursued her dreams elsewhere:

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Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2003 10:11 AM
Subject: my letter for the card

dear miss,

thank you for being my friend,
thank you for teaching me things beyond finite state automata and polynomial space complete problems.
thank you for being an angel in my life
for watching me grow, while i pursue my dreams and pick up my broken pieces

i remember that one morning when i came in early for the 730 data struc class.
you were there on your table at the first floor computer lab, and i was scribbling something on my notebook. you asked me why i was in cebu, and we had some general conversation about things so mundane, that i dont quite recall them now.

i remember me weeping at your office back in 98 when i wanted to transfer in diliman but i couldn't.. i remember being sad because i would be the only one left behind in a strange city that speaks a strange language that i will never get used to.

i remember many things, bits and pieces, the tour to your new house on paper = the stories about your own personal journey into this madness that is life, i remember the invisible thread of hope that you've given me through the years, and the things you've sacrificed to stay in an institution which you believed in.

thank you for all those things you've done for me, and for the many others like me who are very fortunate to have met you on this road. you have a way of affecting people that one cannot help but go home and sleep at night with a happy thought that a kindred soul has been part of their lives. in this lifetime, there may be others who will fail to acknowledge your worth and fail to recognize and appreciate you, and i am sad for them because they will never know how good you are and how lacking their lives have become by closing their doors on you. i feel sad for UP that it will lose such an important person like you. you are the institution in UP.. you are part of the greatness of every student who have once been just another nameless faceless gray mass in the infinity of living each day.

you are part of how we do things, why we choose an elegant solution over an easy one, why we disdain vectors and praise data structures, and all the other little things that define the idealistic spirit in each of us.

but like us, you cannot confine yourself in a constricted space that will always hide and refuse to reward your talent. you are a teacher, a friend, but most of all, you are a human being too, and you have dreams, and you have goals, and as you watched us grow and live our dreams, the time has come for us to watch you grow too, and follow your dreams.. UP may have been that goal and that dream once, but time like the tide has shifted and has changed a lot of things, and i understand that you too must adapt to that change..

thank you miss.. for everything, i hope you get whatever your heart desires, and i too, hope that i could somehow give justice to what i have learned from you, so that i may one day do something great too.. and affect people in a positive way, the way you've done to me.

take care as you embark on yet another journey =) as you close another chapter in your life, and begin a new one, please don't forget that we are always here cheering for you.. =)

always,

"And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."
- The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho.