0
travelling for a reason
Posted by poeticnook
on
11/18/2008 05:58:00 AM
in
in transit
it doesn't really take much persuasion for me to hop on a plane and skip town for nothing or anything at all. a tap on my shoulder and i will be all set in 5 minutes. that's how much i prefer to be on the road rather than sitting still inside the same four walls. and so i called my batchmate from university slash ex workmate slash ex roommate slash family friend whom i haven't seen for two years and asked if i could crash at her place, she now lives in brampton with her husband and is expecting a baby. well, if last year was the year of getting hitched for most of my friends, this year seems to be the year for procreating.
and so last tuesday found me on a plane to pearson, leaving raincouver for a glimpse of clear blue skies or hopefully even snow, anything other than grey gloomy rain is good enough for me. i like toronto's unpredictable weather where it's sunny in the morning, then rains at noon and snows at night - i prefer any kind of variation even weather disturbances compared to the constant monotonous downpour. i showed up at our scarborough office and saw the people i used to work with last year. i like consilium better than the boot, running across the buidings to get to the next face to face meeting beats staring at my monitor for netmeeting and bridge telecons where people pretend to be on mute when they're not really listening, swiping cards on the elevators to go to the right floor, junk food on the vending machines, giant flat screen tv's and sprawling couches, walking across the street to get food at the town center, it just feels more alive to be there, i dont know, maybe its just me.
when one is short on the family card, one stacks up on friends. however being socially inept, i only have maybe five friends who are like family to me, they are the ones who know what goes on behind my eyes and what i've gone through, they have sort of "adopted" me into their lives, and will most probably pick me up from the emergency room if i ever wander there, i could always rely on them to not lead me astray. and even as we grow older and move on to building our lives apart from each other, i know i can always count on these friends to let me crash in their couch when i'm homeless, or hold my hand and hug me and pick me up from the abyss when i fall off my ladder. they are the ones who dont need or expect anything from me, who accepts me as i am and dont try to change me. well actually they try to mold me into someone "better", whatever better means, but they still tolerate me even if i dont. they never force me to conform to their truths, they know what's good for me and they take care of me. we can choose friends but not family, and so i choose my friends well and make them family. unfortunately, these friends are now scattered all over the world and it takes at least a 5 hour plane ride to get to the nearest one.
on this trip, i got back in touch with the reality that life is not equal to work and that the truth is out there outside clearcase builds and shakedowns. i was updated with what's happening outside provisioning and got reacquainted with food and sleep - those things being social events for me, i actually think i gained 20 pounds in 7 days. i remembered that when i am asked "how's life?", i can't just get away with "life's good", i actually need to bore into the details, coz my friend really wants to squueze me dry and know everything. i re-learned that people really care and are not just being polite when they ask "how are you?", that it's not just a conversation starter before they move on to more interesting things like element adapters and web services.
i was reminded that i can always count on friends to make me feel better about myself when i dont have my family beside me to tell me that i matter. and that they will always be ready to listen to me when i need a sounding board. its so easy to go to the dark side when one is alone and surrounded by gray things. my mom would say i should pray when things bother me, but i still need physical manifestations - people to be exact, to be there for me. now if only i had that here in raincouver then maybe life will be more bearable until i come back home again.
today, back in this gray town, my restless heart and wandering soul has taught me one truth, every place, every landscape, they are all meaningless, after sailing the seas, climbing the mountains, and exploring all the nooks, what's the next frontier? it's the people attached to each city that makes it special. and someday i will find a place where i can sit down and be content.
and so last tuesday found me on a plane to pearson, leaving raincouver for a glimpse of clear blue skies or hopefully even snow, anything other than grey gloomy rain is good enough for me. i like toronto's unpredictable weather where it's sunny in the morning, then rains at noon and snows at night - i prefer any kind of variation even weather disturbances compared to the constant monotonous downpour. i showed up at our scarborough office and saw the people i used to work with last year. i like consilium better than the boot, running across the buidings to get to the next face to face meeting beats staring at my monitor for netmeeting and bridge telecons where people pretend to be on mute when they're not really listening, swiping cards on the elevators to go to the right floor, junk food on the vending machines, giant flat screen tv's and sprawling couches, walking across the street to get food at the town center, it just feels more alive to be there, i dont know, maybe its just me.
when one is short on the family card, one stacks up on friends. however being socially inept, i only have maybe five friends who are like family to me, they are the ones who know what goes on behind my eyes and what i've gone through, they have sort of "adopted" me into their lives, and will most probably pick me up from the emergency room if i ever wander there, i could always rely on them to not lead me astray. and even as we grow older and move on to building our lives apart from each other, i know i can always count on these friends to let me crash in their couch when i'm homeless, or hold my hand and hug me and pick me up from the abyss when i fall off my ladder. they are the ones who dont need or expect anything from me, who accepts me as i am and dont try to change me. well actually they try to mold me into someone "better", whatever better means, but they still tolerate me even if i dont. they never force me to conform to their truths, they know what's good for me and they take care of me. we can choose friends but not family, and so i choose my friends well and make them family. unfortunately, these friends are now scattered all over the world and it takes at least a 5 hour plane ride to get to the nearest one.
on this trip, i got back in touch with the reality that life is not equal to work and that the truth is out there outside clearcase builds and shakedowns. i was updated with what's happening outside provisioning and got reacquainted with food and sleep - those things being social events for me, i actually think i gained 20 pounds in 7 days. i remembered that when i am asked "how's life?", i can't just get away with "life's good", i actually need to bore into the details, coz my friend really wants to squueze me dry and know everything. i re-learned that people really care and are not just being polite when they ask "how are you?", that it's not just a conversation starter before they move on to more interesting things like element adapters and web services.
i was reminded that i can always count on friends to make me feel better about myself when i dont have my family beside me to tell me that i matter. and that they will always be ready to listen to me when i need a sounding board. its so easy to go to the dark side when one is alone and surrounded by gray things. my mom would say i should pray when things bother me, but i still need physical manifestations - people to be exact, to be there for me. now if only i had that here in raincouver then maybe life will be more bearable until i come back home again.
today, back in this gray town, my restless heart and wandering soul has taught me one truth, every place, every landscape, they are all meaningless, after sailing the seas, climbing the mountains, and exploring all the nooks, what's the next frontier? it's the people attached to each city that makes it special. and someday i will find a place where i can sit down and be content.
