sepia toned life

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what i'm gonna do
when i get there
I take a breath and hold on tight Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace"
- breathing, lifehouse

after almost a decade of walking behind your shadows, i feel lost now that i have chosen a path away from you. you used to define me. you are in every line of my face, your memory burns through my veins like embers from a nearly extinguished fire.  i was nothing without you. "every step i took ever since i learned to walk was a step towards finding you", what do i do now? now that you are gone, my north star, my guiding light.. how do i start again? i didnt foresee that the outcome of letting go would be this - a vast chasm that eats away everything. a void that cant seem to be filled with light, a black hole that extinguishes all hope.

to any kindred soul out there, to the gods that must be, help me find my way back again...

"I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth
And i'm trying to identify the voices in my head
God I wish won't you
Let me feel one more time what if feels like to feel
And break these caluses off of me one more time"
- breathing, lifehouse