summer of 98

once again i sit here lost in thought
though i choose to forget
my mind insists on remembering

i have given up a long time ago
knowing how great the odds were against me
yet still it comes back
like a nightmare it hunts,

it stalks,

it frightens me
as clear as a photograph taken in midday
as crisp as the leaves of summer
it brings back a lot of memories

of days gone by, of love once had
it's not easy to forget when the wind whipers your name
how could i erase your image from my mind,
when every sight and sound reminds me of you?

it is not right that i should feel this way
it is not right that i should want you
you were the one who chose to be free
you were the one who chose to leave
and i know i must learn to let you go

yet why do i still long for you?
why does my heart tirelessly beat
in the hope that i might see you again

i am a fool to feel this way
still i sit here lost in thought

in despair i call your name
it seems rather absurd for me to be shouting
when you're too far away....
to hear...

to feel...

to know...
that i love you

so i just close my eyes and pray
that someday you'll come

and

break my solitude

ndg.04.10.1998