it won't be soon before long

Lately I’ve been spending too much time at the office, going home late and doing the same things over and over again. This could really take a toll on one’s mental health. I’m now almost certain that this is part of the cause of my current dementia. Well what is there to do when you don’t want to go home and see monsters hiding under the bed or blank walls painted with red stained hands - sounds like Identity, that’s how I know I’ve been watching too many slasher flicks.

All this distraction is actually a great coping mechanism - just go about my merry way and never for a moment give notice to the things which leave holes in me. Empty hollow spaces that remind me of what I don’t have, I don’t need and I don’t miss. What do you do when you have a bunch of white pebbles and all you really want is a shiny black marble? Tough luck eh?

Well, there’s still work, and so I carry on.

"..and it looks like I’m losing this fight
In your world I have no meaning,
though I’m trying hard to understand
…
And there’s a storm that’s raging
through my frozen heart tonight.."