morning comes and i must go

today turned out to be a beautiful sunny day. with fluffy white clouds floating against a backdrop of blue skies. i spent the night at my cube trying to rescue myself out of this state of mental fatigue, where everything just stops and i cant move forward. couldn't really go home to face my half filled box alone, so i might as well string words into technical documents, that could be an effective desensitizing tool, except i was like a caterpillar moving two steps back for every step forward. nothing made sense, could be the sugar making me restless and destroying my focus, could be anything or nothing, who knows.

got home at around 8am and slept for three hours, now i'm just sitting, staring at the window, reading and listening to songs, waiting for my heart to calm down, i think i'm gonna have a coronary haha. it's the sunny days i fear the most, they kill words, because beauty is its own excuse for being. i should go out soon and be with people who keeps me grounded.

deep breathing, recite the alphabet backwards. i just need to be hugged until the world stops spinning. this song helps somehow.

Love is the Answer
by: Raymond Hannisian

Morning comes and I must go; day is breaking yonder.
After all the places I have been, now I'm going home.
I have been to seek the sky, to travel on the highway
And the time has come, I don't know why
I am going home.

Where is the answer to so many questions
I don't know, so I begin another journey
Where is the meaning for my world
I see the answer now.

Though we came by diff'rent roads, now we walk together.
Stay beside me all our days, strangers never more.
Through the cool of summer rains, by the hearthside fire
Here I'll be with you when nothing remains
I am home to stay.

For love is the answer to so many questions
Now I know, and I can stop my endless wand'ring
Love gives the meaning to my world
I see the answer now.

Love gives meaning to my world
And I see the answer now

Love is the Answer… Love!