into the ocean

blue october's single has infected my system. it's on eternal repeat on my ipod. that's usually what happens when i find a song i really like, i play it over and over again until i don't want to hear it anymore. i use up its replay value and shelf it away for good.

this looks like how i treat mostly everything else i have, at the beginning i get obsessive and tinker with each nut and bolt until i've discovered all flaws and marveled at the ingenuity of its details; then after a while, i lose interest, i put it back in its box, give it away or sell it off. it's a vicious cycle, i can't grow roots, get attached, spin in place. i blame the rest of my generation for my restless soul. but mostly i think it's a defense mechanism, i'd rather leave than be left behind. it's better to be the first to stand up and go than wait till the dust settles and find yourself alone.

this song is really getting to me, i feel like drowning.

now floating up and down
i spin, colliding into sound
like whales beneath me diving down
i'm sinking to the bottom of my
everything that freaks me out
the lighthouse beam has just run out
i'm cold as cold as cold can be
be

i want to swim away but don't know how
sometimes it feels just like i'm falling in the ocean
let the waves up take me down
let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
let the rain of what i feel right now...come down
let the rain come down