the elusive place of dreams

since i moved to my new place 3 months ago, i never really found time to transfer my clothes from the luggage bag into the closet, i'm still living off my suitcase and my bed doesn't really look like someone sleeps on it. usually i would be downstairs at the living room couch, hugging the giant throw pillow while debugging life as a window cleaner. didn't even bother setting up shop in my room, after all i always fly off to somewhere anyway, and it's more convenient to have my things in a backpack that i could easily tow along with me when i suddenly decide to skip town.

i'm thinking this is the reason why i'm suspended in sleepless state these days - maybe my room is not conducive for slumber. i'm trying to make it look like my room back home as best i can but it takes a lot of time and energy to do that. first i would need to recreate my constellation of artificial stars on the walls and ceiling. then i would need a bed wide enough so i could spin in circles plus at least seven pillows and complete silence and darkness (aside from my stars), and my mom tucking me in and hugging me to sleep - that last part is something i can't really buy from any store.

i've tried counting sheep and chicken and cows, i already have a whole animal farm in my head, but it's still not working. maybe i should go back to the gym, the elliptical always makes me sleepy, i'll try that next week.